A blog's gotta start with something...

Well, I'm pretty new to this blogging business, so to grab your attention my first blog will be all about my arse. It's a rather sizeable arse, and therefore I don't feel bad about dedicating a whole blog to it.

So like most white chicks, I've got the usual body hangups and self-esteem issues. Generally I don't let it get in the way of having a good time but of course I've tried several ridiculous diets over the years, and spent far too long in front of mirrors examining my imperfect thighs, boobs, tummy and of course my big butt.

By way of introduction to this blog and my life, I should add that I moved to New York about six months ago. Or more specifically I moved to East Harlem about six months ago. The predominantly African-Americana and Latino hood, conviniently located just off the 6-train and only blocks from the top of Central Park is where I now proudly call home. And one thing the Latinos and African-Americans love (can I call them blacks from now on? Otherwise it's just too much to type, and besides I've always thought political correctness was overrated), well one thing that they love is a curvy woman. And luckily that's something I can provide.

So upon moving into my new 'hood, I started receiving appreciative glances. And whistles. And 'yo mamma - yo ass lookin fi-ine today!' kinda comments. And secretly I started liking them. Now don't get me wrong - I didn't thrive on them. But it's a little bit flattering when I'm walking home from the gym, in my daggiest trackpants and tank top, hair mushed against my red, sweaty face to hear "ooh baby...look o that ass...I'd like to put my face in THAT!"

Seriously. It's a bit of a confidence booster.

(I should add here that I never feel threatened by the guys in my hood - they're not those kind of comments. I'm confident all the calls are entirely empty and should I ever turn to one of them and say "Ok. You and me. Lets go a few rounds!" then they'd completely back up, shy away and probably reveal a ring on the finger.)

So this story about my arse and the attention it receives leads me to my first NY pick-up. So it was a night out with the girls when I met "Dylan". He was Puerto Rican. And a FDNY Fireman. And very sexy. We talked and chatted and danced and did a few tequila body shots off each other, before the end of the night drew near.

I actually hadn't been paying him much attention (ok, apart from the tequila body shots...but they were just for fun...and everyone else at the bar that night was doing them!) so was about to hail a cab and head home when he comes up behind me and loudly announces "You have a MASSIVE ASS!"

He'd said it with a grin on his face so I turned to him and mock-scolded "You can't say that to a white chick!" To which he responded "I'm Puerto-Rican...I love your ass!" before proceeding to make out with me.

So to cut a long story short, I did end up taking the sexy fireman home with me that night...although my NY virginity remained intact and we just had a nice cuddle (umm, do I expect people to believe that? Sorry but it's true!) but the moral of the story is that I can thank my big arse for helping me pick-up a hottie!

Sir Mix-a-Lot used to insist that he "Likes Big Butts", and I'd always laugh and dance along but I never really believed there were guys out there that did. So thank you East Harlem. I'm not going to get all mushy and Oprah-style insist that "I've learnt to love my curves" because the afore-mentioned body hangups still exist. But I guess I've just got a degree of more confidence than before.

So tomorrow, when I strut down the street and the guys on my stoop call out what they'd like to do to me...well as I ignore them I'll secretly be smiling. And later on allowing myself that slice of pizza - can't afford lose my greatest asset!